I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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