His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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