Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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