i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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