It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
