So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
