I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize