then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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