ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Can't talk, ducks in the car
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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