All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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