A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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