I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I sprained my soul last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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