Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
