hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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