Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
