yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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