I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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