I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
