bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
