Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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