I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think my vagina is haunted
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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