Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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