Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
