Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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