woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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