..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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