If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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