my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
3pm strippers are depressing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
