it wasn't lemon gatorade
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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