And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
