break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
