he puts the penis in happiness.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
3pm strippers are depressing
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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