Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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