I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
