this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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