Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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