look no pants
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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