so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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