Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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