Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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