He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
