And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
