as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
