I don't think brook has ever known best
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
