Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass