Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
