umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.