Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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