My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Too much gin, very little bucket
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
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