I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
