just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize