I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
