its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
