I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I CAN MOONWALK!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
