I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
