i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize