When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
