Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
