just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize