ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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