Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
