Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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