hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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