seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
