GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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