His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
