Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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