these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
