I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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